In the News today..

Occasionally I find some little gem in the news that has me giggling on my way to work. Today’s was about Tesco implementing a dress code as shoppers in Cardiff have been tumbling out of bed, throwing on their slippers and heading off to do the grocery shopping. Brilliant!

I know this comes across as incredibly snobby.. but, I’m okay with that.

What has happened to personal pride? Surely having made the effort to leave the house it’s not that much of an ask to take a shower and get dressed. I would be mortified if I were caught slobbing about my local grocery store in dodgy old slippers, hair yanked back. Actually, it is not so much the pyjamas, I think, for me, it is more what this represents, the slovenly action of being too lazy to make an effort. That this is a regular way of life.

So, have a read and let me know your thoughts.

READ ME

THE BATTLEAXE...

Our dear friend Trevor moved off to the bright lights of North Sheen about a year ago. He and some friend rented this beautiful house, in a quiet neighbourhood..

Not long after they had moved in Americo and I went to visit, London streets are notoriously awful for parking so we were thrilled when we noticed a parking space virtually outside their front door. Yay! We zipped in and dashed into the house.. not before noticing this little old biddy staring murderously at us. Oh well. We mentioned the crazy to Trev who explained that she is very territorial about anyone parking in front of her house… Even though she has no car… and potentially visitors!

Anyway, this Sunday we thought we would pop in and see Trevor – it was reasonably early in the evening and, surprisingly, there was loads of parking. As we weren’t sure he was home Americo idled the car whilst I jumped out the car to bang on the door. Unfortunately my knocks went unanswered, along with calling through the letterbox. Anyhow, I turned to go back to the car when the Battleaxe (as she will now be referred to) came charging out the house.

“Move your car, Move your car.”

Jump back lady, clearly not staying long as the engine is still on (ready for our fast get away from the madness!). I got back in the car and Americo, having witnessed this bizarre behaviour asked what was going on. I explained that she didn’t like where we were parked, even though, only the nose of the car could have been venturing anywhere near her sight.

There she stood, the crazy old coot, in her blue dressing gown glaring at us through her living room window.

We thought we would give Trev one last call before heading for home (tenacious aren’t we?). He hadn’t heard my knocking as he was somewhat preoccupied, hurling his guts out in the toilet. What can I say, we have perfect timing. But don’t go feeling too sorry for Trevie, it was all self induced!

So The Battleaxe watched us get out the car and, not wanting to loose her opportunity she pounced as we reached the door. Shouting in a heavily accented voice to “move the car – move the car!”.

Mmmmmm, I rushed the house, Americo pretended oblivion and Trevor was too dazed to take anything in!

Seriously! Has no one ever heard a teaspoon of sugar does a lot more that a bottle of vinigar?

SUNDAY, The new Saturday?

Sunday’s seem to have become our new Saturday but sadly Monday is still… MONDAY! This has been quite an emotional week for me, I had an early morning meeting about some things on Tuesday – sounds mysterious, doesn’t it? When I know the overall outcome I promise to share, but until then I don’t want to jinx it.

Saturday we went to Sara & Colin’s for his birthday we had a lovely evening but I somehow ended up as designated driver. I find driving in the UK an incredibly traumatic experience. My palms get sweaty, my heart races and the thought of over an hours drive home is enough to give me palpitations. Americo thinks I am absolutely ridiculous, which in turn leads to more stress! Anyway, homeward we drove, me shaking like a jelly whilst Americo quietly criticised. He will say he doesn’t but I KNOW HE DOES!

Weekends, for us, are no longer time spent to lounge about accumulating a big arse. Oh no! Things need to be done and, with our hopes for Australia, Saturday & Sunday are our only times. Saturday was spent doing all the mundane chores that I knew we would have no inclination towards on Sunday (washing, cleaning .. ugh) whilst Americo industriously updated his CV etc. Then it was time to party.

Arrived home just after 3am, both having survived the hair raising journey. To be honest, I think I was the only one truly terrified!

Sunday dawned (well we woke up at 11), grey and slightly less miserable than last weekend but not much of an improvement. Off we went to Storme & Ian’s, who had very kindly agreed to sign our Wills, just so there is no confusion about what to do with all our debt. Even more kindly, they invited us to an early dinner - meatballs and treats, we were completely spoilt.

We popped round to Trevor’s but I feel the experience deserves a whole post with a little more dedication than I can give it now.. back tomorrow!

HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?

Pearl, my great friend is about to be off on her travels to places .. exotic. I must admit to being somewhat jealous as she follows the sun around the world; however I am hopeful that we will be following shortly. Anyway, as she is packing up and shipping out I am the grateful recipient of all her pot plants. Early on Saturday morning Americo and I dragged ourselves out of bed to collect our hire van and then onwards to Pearl’s. The morning dawned, grey and cold, with our TomTom refusing to registering the morning light as daytime, preferring to stay on evening colours!

We arrived, on time.. a concept Pearl is unfamiliar with and consequently she was still abed! I am sure she was only too thrilled to find Americo & I on her doorstep. Well.. I believe the actual image that greeted her was me squealing and running for cover as Americo stood like king of the hill, pelting me with snowballs. The minute she unlocked the door, without a hello or by your leave, I stormed the house! Surprisingly we did actually manage to load the plants into our van albeit with the odd snowball flying wildly. I have to mention here that in snowball fights my aim, generally rubbish, is even more impaired when under pressure. I was thrilled therefore when I managed to wallop Americo with a snowball that glanced off the van and down his shirt. JUSTICE!

It was a very slow drive home, by which stage the weather had deteriorated to a constant icy drizzle. The two of us, looking very woe begotten, unloaded the van of what seemed like millions of plants then surveyed our garden and wondered… what the hell do we do now?? I suggested that they looked perfect where they stood, kind of arty. Americo (as always!) had other ideas, no time like the present, so we set about recreating our patch of yard.

I am happy to announce it looks lovely the hours of toil paid off, but by the end of it we were drenched, muddy, cold and numb. When all was done we both stripped off at the door and ran, naked, upstairs into a steaming hot bath, curious neighbours be damned!

WELCOME.. 2010

A Happy New Year to one and all! 2010 has blown in on rather a chilly wind with snow engulfing much of the UK. My New Year’s resolutions remain much the same, enjoy life to the fullest, carry on as I have every year, NOT give up smoking … unless absolutely necessary. This year though there is a variant from my usual theme; 2010 is our year of change, I am expecting great things from the next twelve months.

As I am sure I made you ALL aware Americo and I went to Australia for Christmas. Put simply, it was bliss! We had the most wonderful time with many special thank you’s to all our friends; the holiday would not have been the same without you! There are so many highlights from our trip that I barely know where to begin.

Our first destination was Airlie Beach, the gateway to the Whitsundays and the Great Barrier Reef (well the start thereof...). After so much travelling I have to admit our first day was a wipe out, mostly spent doing … nothing! Unfortunately our vacationing times coincided perfectly with the arrival of stinger season. This is basically when nature’s most venomous jelly fish go on tour, cruising the seas of Northern Australia and turning all potential swimmers turn into extra’s from the Teletubbies. Let me explain… To avoid getting zapped by the poisonous tentacles of the jellies you wear a stinger suit (hahaha – see what I mean!), this covers you from head to foot in thin lycra (very unforgiving) and turns a beach full of sun worshipers into a horrific version of the children’s TV show.

Anyway, we went to the Great Barrier Reef, snorkelled and saw many fishies, the biggest of which was George the Grouper weighing in at HUGE (9 feet long and 300kg). For your benefit I have scoured the net and found some photo graphic proof … although they truly do not do him justice. He was described to us as the size of a cow with no legs and though I scoffed that was actually pretty apt.

Our next tour was a trip round the Whitsunday islands finishing off at the beautiful Whitehaven beach. This has now become Americo’s all time favourite beach, in the world, with crystal clear waters and silicon sand. I will have to dredge up a photo of my own Teletubbie waddling down the beach in his flippers!

Now we come to the Kayaking…. I can see many of you shaking your heads in wonder that I would EVER agree to do something so physically strenuous. All I can say is .. it had good PR. To be honest the kayaking was my idea, I had the rather idealistic image of Americo and I paddling about the ocean with not a care in the world. Anyhow after some research a full day’s kayaking would equate to 14 kilometres of hard work, I looked at my dearest husband and suggested that, possibly, the half day would be a more sensible option. This is where the PR comes in.. Both Max and Americo sat there smirking and selling the benefits of a full days excursion with lines like “don’t worry Zanna, it is not like you will actually DO any rowing”.

HA!

My ideals of a romantic time for two were shattered, Americo turned into drill sergeant extraordinaire and thus I spent the day rowing like a demon.

They suggested biking the next day… needless to say I gracefully bowed out and went for a massage!