TO SMOKE OR .. Not to?

Volley ball – I hope you are all suitably impressed with my dedication to this sport? Lets face it, I am a couch potato and my idea of exercise generally only extends to watching someone else do it.. on TV and not very often! But I am really enjoying my weekly sessions of v.ball in the park, even though my skills don’t quite equal my enthusiasm. Yesterday was the perfect day for out door pursuits, the sun was shining but the blistering heat of earlier had mellowed, and there I was sitting in the park, having a smoke waiting for the activities to begin.

I love times like this, where you are sitting almost in seclusion, enjoying a puff, reading a book and generally feeling smug at being able to block out every other being. That is until I was knocked out of my reverie by a boy of about 12 standing beside me asking for a light. I looked up at him questioning what he wanted my lighter for, he looked back at me and said “to light my smoke” (his eyes adding OBVIOULSY!). Now I realise my hypocrisy when I answered “No” - sure I am sitting there enjoying my smoke whilst simultaneously denying him, his. However, as I explained to him, I cannot, in good conscience let him smoke/start to smoke and be the provider of the fire. Was this boy my child or nephew I would sincerely hope that some adult, faced with the same quandary, would also say no!

When I got home last night I explained to Americo what had happened, he looked at me, raised an eyebrow and said “when exactly did you start smoking?” Bloody typical! “HA” I answered back “Not the point, I had far more sense than asking an adult for a light”. In our poxy little town that would have been the swiftest way to discovery. Anyway, I am not a particularly moralistic person, if I see a group of kids smoking I am unlikely to tell them to stop, but I am not exactly going to encourage them either. Unlike my beloved husband who feels that if they want a light or a cigarette you may as well hand it over - they will just get it from somewhere else anyway….

What utter nonsense, Americo NEVER has a light and he hates sharing his smokes!!!! ;0)

Family, babies…WHAT?

There are many questions in life but the two that carry the most pressure are -
1. When are you getting married? Followed swiftly by;
2. When are you having kids?

I am sure the girls will have noticed that men NEVER get bombarded with these questions, it is always the woman. The truth is that, for the most part, we are hard wired, well, can you blame us? Let me explain…

Throughout the ages spinsterhood has never been something to aspire too. When I was about 21 an elderly aunt turned to me and said, “My dear, you need to start settling down – don’t want to be left all alone on the shelf now, do we?”. Lets face it, when you reach a certain age and have not yet managed to snag yourself a man you begin to feel certain pressures. Once you have got said man the pressures increase and the above two questions start coming to the fore.

Men on the other hand have it great. They are bachelors, even the word sounds exciting. No single female shouts from the roof tops .. ‘I’m a SPINSTER!’. But the boys are BACHELORS, it is cool, suave with a devil may care attitude thrown in for spice. It doesn’t matter if you’re 35, living with mom and a belly spilling over your trousers .. you’re a single manly stud!

Getting married evens things out, there is only one label and one more question… that’s right folks – when are you having kids. The bells have barely stopped ringing before this question rears its head.

The thing is, what if you don’t want kids? (how controversial)

Luckily we do not have to answer that question as the fact is we would like to have children. At some stage… therein lies the problem! Grand-children, nephews, nieces and cousins are expected, sooner rather than later. A few months a go my 6 year old niece requested that we produce another cousin for her as soon as possible, oh if it were that simple.

For instance, when are you ready to take that leap? In the 21st century people are waiting longer to get married and have children. You’ve now had that much more time to live a delightfully selfish existence. All that FREEDOM.

I suppose the trick is not to think about it, close your eyes and leap blindly into the abyss of parenthood with a packet of wet wipes in one hand and every emergency number you know in the other!!