Friday 26 June 2009

THANKFULLY IT IS OVER..

Right, I am back! This week has continued in the same vein it began - me ‘making friends’ with various people on a daily basis. Obviously my problems all started on Sunday, with the whole in-law v table issue, only to find that that incident was merely the tip of my irritation iceberg….

On Monday evening I managed to fight my way to a seat on the very full, very stuffy tube (underground train). I had just pulled out my trashy novel when I looked up to find a very pregnant lady standing in front of me. I tried to persuade my conscience to ignore this information but the little cherub sitting on my shoulder had other intentions.

I looked up at the lady, smiled, and said “excuse me, would you like a seat”. She in return looked at me with a bemused expression on her face and said.. “Why?”

I barely managed to hold the words that were desperate to spill forth – aren’t you pregnant????? and mumbled something abstract. Would you believe this has happened to me about 3 times? I am sorry ladies but no longer shall I be going through this embarrassment. Unless I see someone with a sign saying BABY ON BOARD, I shall be ignoring all other indicators, clearly my radar is on the blink!

As you have probably realised the last week or so I have been somewhat distracted. I recently took on a new project, our quarterly Newsletter which is due imminently, hence my neglect of Americo & Me. It has been a really wonderful challenge and I have enjoyed it immensely. As the project has been handed to me in its entirety I arrange what subjects/articles are going to be included, layout, formatting, spelling, grammar etc, etc, etc.

Sounds like a piece of cake? I then received the articles. It took all my creative skill to re-write them in line with our brand ethos, have I mentioned that I work in a Wealth Management Firm? No? Now do you fully appreciate the commitment? You can only get so excited about a pension.

However, no good deed goes unpunished and this was no exception. The downside to my above elation is that for the last two days I have had to work with The Australian. A more uncouth man you could not hope to come across, an in depth description can be found here. Due to the fact that my Mac skills are non existent (having never worked on one) I had to surrender to his superior knowledge and skill. Luckily most of the work was completed on day one, sadly on day two our ‘Man’ waltzed into work with a slight headache from a little too much over indulgence the night before.

Foolishly he then proceed to bait me with various changes I needed made to the Newsletter that, by the way, will be sent to our very high profile Members. Needless to say it was an imprudent battle to pick. ‘Handle with Care’ was a saying coined for me.

Today..

I promise today I will get my act together and post a propper blog... No more good intentions.

Will be back at about 4 for a full update. In the meantime, lots of interesting things are happening in the world... Michael Jackson has died of cardiac arrest. Farrah Fawcett has passed away from cancer. Iran is upset with America and last, but certainly not least - stoned wallabies have been blamed for crop circles. For full updates check out www.bbc.co.uk/news.

Back in a bit!

Tuesday 23 June 2009

BACK & I'M BAD..

Last week seemed to rush past like a freight train. One minute it was Monday, the next it was Friday and I had barely managed to update my blog!

We went to Volley Ball on Tuesday; I managed to convince Americo to rush back to London from his conference so that he could partake of the festivities. As this had not been in the initial game plan Americo had no clothes with him for volley ball, so being the doting wife (that I clearly am) I lugged all his clothing about London with me. Funny how when I used to travel I could take a little day sack with me for at least 10 days but 1 pair of Americo’s shoes and my whole satchel is full. To conclude on the Volley Ball, this is not just a jolly as first thought – I seem to have signed myself up to a league so will have to be somewhat more committed than initially expected.

This weekend was full of family, Saturday was my niece’s 7th birthday which had me up at the crack of dawn in order to assist with party preparations. Sunday we had Americo’s family round for lunch.

Aaah it was a lunch to remember, and sadly not in the good way either! To begin, I know my faults, I am bossy, lack patience when irritated and generally speak my mind. It is second nature to me when I see one of my nephew’s or niece behaving badly to immediately put in a cease and desist order. Which, as far as I am concerned is not up for negotiation – it is an order with immediate effect. I bet are you are all feeling sorry for the sprogs now?

So, on to the fateful event; I caught our nephew drawing with a piece of metal on my wooden table. We had all been sitting around said table so I am not sure how I hadn’t noticed the silence that inevitably means trouble is brewing. When I caught him at it and asked ‘what the .. are you doing’ – he replied saying ‘I was bored’.

No action from the parental sector. Now this is a quandary, on one hand this is my house and the other, this is not my child. I am sorry to say that the ‘this is my house’ won the day and I refused any pudding to the cantankerous child. Explaining that the excuse of ‘I am bored’ is unacceptable whilst wilfully damaging someone else’s property!

As we sat there with one 12 year old boy in tears and everyone looking at me as though I had just sprouted horns and a tail, I have to admit to ALMOST relenting. However Americo fully backed my decision (which was an incredible relief). His mom offered to buy us a new table – not the point – and my sister in law thought my technique was far too harsh. My logic being .. will he do it again? I doubt it! What I found most uncomfortable though is that my mother in law looked at me like I had a heart of stone, as if the behaviour was all okay because it was in the family?

Saying that however I think I have a better understanding of why parent’s let their children get away with mischief. It is bloody hard to discipline a child. There is something about those big eyes staring back at you as if you have just told them that Santa doesn’t exist and all the reindeer were packed off to the glue factory.

Friday 19 June 2009

WHAT A JOKER!

I know, it is pathetic that I am just going to leave a joke here for your amusement however this week has been manic (as said on Monday) and all my writing skills (she chuckles) have been put into editing and revamping articles for our quarterly newsletter. Hopefully things will be back to normal next week, but until then I hope you enjoy the below….

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'

Monday 15 June 2009

BUSY MONDAY

Due to an impressive amount of slacking off last week I now find myself in a bit of a quagmire with regards to work. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t slack off too much however Monday has arrived with vengeful thoughts of keeping me out of mischief! Tonight I am a work widow as Americo is off shmoozing with his newly acquired team, nevertheless, I believe in looking on the bright side of life … today’s bright side is? I get to eat my KFC fix without any of the guilty feelings associated when Americo is here! I know, it is a small thing but strangely satisfying. Americo meanwhile gets to socialise with all the big bosses, being suitably impressive and spend the night at a hotel well in the Boonies. (Boonies – somewhere MILES away from civilisation, think milk your own cow for coffee).

Yesterday we went to Volley Ball coaching in Richmond, considering we play fairly regularly you would have thought I had gained some finesse. Sadly I am astoundingly pathetic at sports so much so that I have almost honed my lack of skill into an art form. You may snigger but yesterday, after spectacularly missing the ball and landing with a loud thud on my bottom, I received an encouraging round of applause. Americo meanwhile rushes about the court like a fox terrier trying to get every ball that comes his side to the net, wiping out all other players in his wake.

So in the interests of public amusement I am going to go and PLAY volley ball tomorrow, after work, and no doubt return home with my ego broken and every muscle aching.

Wednesday 10 June 2009

WHISTLE WHILE YOU WALK

Today was my first day walking into work due to strike action on the tubes - I hope you are all suitably impressed with my dedication. It took me just under 2 hours, door to door, to amble my way into the office and has given me much entertainment…

Firstly, I went online to search out my best walking route from London Paddington to St Pauls (in the City of London). The best website I have found is http://www.walkit.com/ – it gives you all kinds of handy information such as, distance, time .. if you are a fast walker, moderate or tortoise and how many calories you have expunged from your system. By the way, I classify myself with the moderates.

Average walking time is 1 hour 20 minutes, 6930 steps, 6.3km or 3.9 miles and total calorie usage….. 332 – what a complete waste of time! Luckily I am not a calorie counting kinda girl, but even so I was somewhat demoralised by the minuscule amount versus time I could still be sleeping! However I will, grudgingly, admit that I did feel my fat reserves reluctantly loosening their grip upon my person.

With the strikes everyone who utilises the Underground has had to make alternative plans, mine was to use the overland then leg it the rest of the way. Others are using the bus routes – faster to walk if I am honest – and others still have pulled out their bicycles. And thus begins my story…..

Whilst navigating my way into the office I stopped at a traffic light – Enter our leading man. He was turning onto the road I hoped to cross, looking not as confident as one would hope. Usually at that time of the day the world passes me by with little impression, I am therefore unsure what caught my attention. Was it the wobbly bike looking the wrong side of controlled? Or the face above the handle bars flushed and anxious? More likely it was the hooting. Whatever, the impression of this middle aged man riding into work clinging onto the handle bars like grim death, simultaneously trying to read a map has made me chuckle all day!

I know it is cruel, and maybe you had to see it to fully appreciate my amusement. But SERIOUSLY – when you haven’t looked at a bicycle for the last 20 years what makes you think it would be a good idea to ride, into London, on tube strike day, when the roads are heaving?

As it turns out walking is not really all that good for me either. Usually I am safely tucked away from temptation on the underground. No so today, having wondered down all the best shopping streets in the city I now want to spend, Spend, SPEND!! Luckily everything was closed on my way in – I doubt I shall be so lucky on my way home.

Now I must sign off and saunter homeward.

Tuesday 9 June 2009

STRIKE!

After an extremely lazy weekend, Monday came with all the force of a hurricane and Americo has been manically busy ever since.

Not sure if I mentioned this but Americo, after 4 years, has decided to go permanent at “The Company”. His new role is a marriage breaker.. seeing Americo up at 5.30am and back between 10pm and eleven. Last week I waited for him to get home so that we could eat dinner together, this week I have learnt my lesson!

You can imagine that I am therefore not getting to see much of my husband and, as a consequence, am beginning to forget what he looks like! In order to rectify this situation I have come up with a cunning plan…. Firstly I have given him a code word to be sent, via telephone, 30 minutes prior to arrival. Once at the door there is the secret knock followed by presentation of photo ID.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a 48 hour tube strike which I am looking forward to with eager anticipation. I am so dedicated to my job that I like nothing better than to take a casual stroll (2 hours of causal strolling!) in order to fulfil my duties.

What are they striking for? Well, the RMT Union having consistently provided a fairly shoddy service for years would like a 5% pay increase.. on top of whatever increases were handed out last year. They would also like guarantees that there will be no redundancies (wouldn’t we all?). Who, might I ask will be paying for all this? That is right, I, along with my fellow commuters will! I could go on for hours with this topic but shall constrain myself – aren’t you grateful?

Almost forgot, I received my new passport yesterday, all very exciting especially as I bare a striking resemblance to Casper the Friendly Ghost.. who has just escaped from prison. So happy that I get to keep this one for 10 years!

Think I had better sign off quickly as this post is taking a rather bitter turn! For those in London – happy travels for tomorrow ;)

Friday 5 June 2009

HOLIDAY

Last night I finished all but a few planks of decking (because I ran out of oil) just in time too as the weather has turned. With the temperature dropping, cloud building, I would say this is the perfect weekend for Whisky and Poker, failing that, junk food and movies!

I am currently counting down the weeks until we wing our way over to The States for our road trip. I know it is MILES in advance but cannot contain my excitement! When Americo and I got married we were not able to go on honeymoon due to .. getting married and buying a house. So we decided to do a ‘year of honeymooning’ this year, slightly excessive I will admit – but great fun. In December we went to Thailand, where I introduced Americo to the concept of light packing and adventure travelling.

For Americo, being a true accountant, it did not compute to arrive in a foreign country without booking any accommodation and only a vague notion of what we were going to do when we got there. Luckily I have cured him of this and he has taken to my adventurous ambitions with gusto.

Compared to our very lazy Thailand holiday, this trip will be packed full of activities, we land in Tampa, drive to Orlando – there to hit a couple of theme parks then onwards to Miami and back to Tampa on the opposite coastal road. Brilliant! Again we will be rocking up blind with no set plan, only our trusty Tom-Tom and a hire car to hand.

To some people travel is all about the exciting monuments you will see, people you will meet and memories you come away with. Americo, as much as he appreciates all of this his real joy will be of the food – if the food is good we will go there again.. if not – I will have to try better next time! ;)

To end this week is my usual tale of woe – the house has been thoroughly neglected and is once again looking like a charity store. There are more clothes in the washing basket than the cupboards and, if it doesn’t get attended to promptly, we shall have to join a nudist colony.

Luckily I have found the perfect answer to anyone who arrives and walks into the chaos that is our life..

Thursday 4 June 2009

SHOPPING

I am not sure if you have noticed but I have finally uploaded a profile picture.. how impressive is that? Now I am not going to be too enthusiastic as lets face it, it’s one of our wedding photo’s - which is always a bit naff. However, as I had a limited choice of what pictures were available on my computer I would say I did quite well!

As you know I have a slight passion for all things heels. Well, Pearl called this afternoon offering up a splendid pair of shoes. I thought I would have a quick peek, just a little look, at the fabulousness available online. Oh Bliss… It is not true what they say.. Love can be bought and it comes in a box, full of varying colours – size 5! Sadly I am going to have to restrain myself from dashing off to the shops and purchasing all my favourites. Instead I am going to include them on here so that there is a record for when Americo needs to decide on a suitable birthday present. (hint, hint)

On to other things, at last I seem to have made progress with my damaged engagement ring. When Americo first gave it to me I had only worn it for a few months before one of the little side diamonds promptly fell out. I took it to our jeweller, here in London, who replaced the lost diamond but said we should get in contact with the original supplier as he could not guarantee it.

As we were in SA recently, where we bought the ring, I explained our problems to the gentleman who assured me that he would get everything sorted… Guess what – he didn’t. I have been unable to wear my ring for the last 2 months due to the diamond again hovering on the point of leaping for freedom. However now that I have lost all sense of humour things seem to be getting sorted. Unfortunately ‘Africa Time’ and ‘My Time’ run at very different rates but I am sure, with a little bit of gentle persuasion, results shall be swiftly forthcoming.

PS:- Below is a little picture I came across .. supposedly the ‘International Symbol of Marriage’ - WHOSE marriage - is what I would like to know! Oh, Americo - the shoes are just below! xx





Wednesday 3 June 2009

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE.. ME?

OCD.. the minute I hear of someone with obsessive compulsive disorder I imagine them washing and ringing their hands, muttering under their breath “out, out damn spot” - in a ‘Lady MacBeth’ manner.

With this in mind Americo thinks that I suffer from a mild form of OCD. I have all kinds of quirks that simultaneously amuse and amaze him.

For instance, I cannot go to bed with the cupboard doors open. One Christmas, when I was about 6 one of my cousins told us that open cupboards are the porthole to the ‘otherworld’. Under the cover of night, when little girls are fast asleep, the restless dead make their way into the living world.. and once there TERRORIZE those that were so careless.

As if that wasn’t bloody bad enough just after he had scared the wits out of all of us we had a slight earth tremor. Lights flickered, bunkbeds shook – needless to say it was a moment I have never forgotten. To this day I will get up out of bed, if Americo has left the doors open, and shut them!

By the way, congratulations to me – due to my sterling efforts last night I am now the proud owner of the Wifely Championship Cup…. How did I win this I hear you ask? Well, last night I got home, oiled the deck, did washing and managed to prepare dinner all in time for the starving trooper to arrive home at 9pm!

Instead of a cup I have requested diamonds … as we all know nothing says thank you quite like something sparkly!!!

PS:- I have added below a little picture I received from Zimbabwe - I am not sure how recent it is though...



Monday 1 June 2009

GRUBBY HANDS

Yes – I was gardening this weekend. Although whoever says that this is a therapeutic past-time is lying through their teeth! There in nothing enjoyable about scrabbling about in the dirt with all kinds of creepy crawlies lurking in the shadows. It was a ridiculous idea and would you believe that I actually initiated proceedings? No? Nor can I.

It all started like this..

As I mentioned Americo has been harassing me about leaving a weekend free to do all kinds of energetic household things. Obviously with this kind of incentive I have attempted to keep us thoroughly occupied doing other, more pleasant activities! Anyhow I eventually acquiesced suggesting that we utilise the glorious weather we had over the weekend to clean the decking and generally get up to date with our outside chores.

Saturday dawned and with it a certain regret to being so compliant! Anyway off we went to Costco to buy a power hose in order to beat our decking into submission. Oh my living! What a day. I was already over it half way through watching Americo try to connect the pipes to the contraption. However, being the delightful wife that I am .. I put my book down, changed into my bikini and scrubbed and sweated alongside my husband. I did not even complain (MUCH) when he stood behind me criticising my deck cleaning technique. Finally, after hours of busyness the decking was clean (not so Americo and I!) and we sat back, cigarette in hand surveying our hard work.

Sunday, yet another spectacular day, we sat eyeing out the horrid apple tree that grows in our neighbour’s yard. It may grow in their yard but due to sunlight issues actually spreads its branches all over our patch dropping bitter, hard green apples, creating a bit of an obstacle course. So having discussed with them (the neighbour) we hacked down the offending limbs, now ruining or cleaning efforts, and spent Sunday chopping up the branches for disposal. Americo, now well in the mood then suggested we tackle the front garden.

Here is where it all goes horribly wrong! Our front postage stamp is prolific with weeds, one has actually grown so huge it has raised it’s head above the windowsill and has been enjoying all kinds of night-time viewing with us. Clearly this had to be sorted but with my contempt of dirty hands I ask you.. was I really the person for the job? All is well that ends well though as our garden now looks lovely with all the weeds having been ruthlessly yanked out of their earthen home.

To end here is a funny little something that I got in an e-mail – had me chuckling for ages!!