HOSPITALS..

Things have been busy this week as I am out of the office next week having an operation on my leg. Thankfully it is nothing serious but I will be laid up for the week with my right leg in the air. I am really not sure what to expect and after initially putting a brave face on things have since relented and asked Americo to come and hold my hand!

Hospitals and I do not go well together. I have a mild phobia of needles that began with one to many jabs when I was younger. The last time I had one of these I was about 11 and it was the last ‘shot’ of a long series of rabies jabs.

I remember the day clearly it was the last Sunday of school holidays and I was due back at boarding school on Monday. There had been much discussion throughout the day about the best way to proceed. I was arguing the side of “let’s not have it done” (I think dad was almost convinced .. aware of the impending pandemonium) however mom remained resolute. I must mention that, although mom was stoic, she was also dreading taking me to get it done.

Dad, having previous physiological scarring from one of these trips refused to be involved. And so it was that Julian, my big brother, was roped into joining us - all the time questioning why anyone would need to be on hand for his little scrap of a sister? The reason was soon revelled….

We drove the 30km’s into town with a growing sense of trepidation filling the car. Eventually we arrived at the hospital, my little bottom puckering at the thought of being turned into a human pin cushion.

Out came a friendly doctor commenting on my bravery, then he did a fatal thing.. he showed me the injection. I took one look at it, grabbed the car keys out of mom’s hand and ran, locking myself in the car. After much persuasion from my mom I reluctantly unlocked the car and followed them back into the ward. Honestly I truly did have good intentions of behaving myself, but when he came in for the second go I could contain myself no longer. However all the staff, having witness my previous bid for freedom, were on hand to head me off.

There was no escape; I did though manage to create quite a stir screaming down the corridors with a trail of nurses and orderlies in my wake. Inevitably I was cornered and after such a run around restrained by Mom, Julian and 6 orderlies. I am not sure Julian ever fully recovered from the swift conversion of blue eyed angel to fiend. I also understand that my reputation holds firm at that little hospital in Mutare.

Now before you start a major outpouring of sympathy for Americo, let me just say that I have improved. I now provide the ‘needle bearer’ with a set of handy guidelines i.e. ABSOLUTELY no opening the needle packet in front of me, definitely no showing of the needle and suitable distraction is a necessity at the time of injecting. Americo is looking forward with, with great anticipation, to Tuesday’s activities!

That Disaster Dinner..

Oh what a weekend. On Thursday I prepared Americo’s favourite dinner – Oxtail. If anyone has ever cooked oxtail you will know that it is a very flavourful meat that is as tough as old boots unless cooked for endless hours. Usually I would do this in the pressure cooker which cuts the cooking time by half and is guaranteed eating satisfaction. However last week I thought I would be adventurous and experiment… on Thursday I cooked it for two and a half hours in the oven expecting that it would require only a further one and a half hours on Friday night. I was misled! By 11pm on Friday dinner was still a bit too much on the chewy side and my husband was looking decidedly grouchy. So it was with grumbling tummies and chastised attitudes we went to bed.

You will be happy to know that the oxtail, after a further hour in the pressure cooker, was salvaged and tasted very nice and tender the next day. However 6 hours in the oven and the extra hour seem a bit excessive for any meal. Next time (as Americo expressed on numerous occasions) I shall stick to the tried and tested method! You see sweetheart, I do on occasion listen to you!!

On Saturday, having recovered from our disappointments of the night before, we set out for a lovely day with friends. Storme & I went to Tori’s kitchen tea whilst Ian and Americo amused themselves by purchasing all the ingredients for our dinner. What was to be a quiet evening of just 4 ended as a drunken shindig with all the boys on top form. I cannot remember when I have laughed so much! As I was not drinking the mantle of designated driver fell to me. I have to admit to a certain gratitude that my charges were all slightly under the weather.. thereby unable to remember the trip or my driving home! Actually it wasn’t as bad as all that but I truly do not think I could have handled 4 extra backseat drivers making helpful suggestions.

Sunday dawned beautiful and sunny (possibly a little too sunny for Americo who, from what I understand, had a marching band playing in his head). Unfortunately there was no time for sympathies as we had to be up and att’em so that we could replenish our stocks at Costco then onwards and upwards to lunch with Pearl and Peter. We arrived at P&P’s with our 6 months worth of meat and promptly rearranged their fridge to accommodate all our food. After a lovely lunch in their beautiful garden we drove home for many a delightful hour of unpacking, wrapping and stacking.

Come Monday morning I was looking forward to the relative peace of going back to work! Now it is Tuesday and the shine of Monday has definitely been tarnished!

FEEDBACK WANTED!

Can you believe that I have been writing this blog for almost 3 months, and what fun it has been! Unfortunately I am not sure it has been as much fun for everyone who has read it, so please leave me some feedback so that I know if I am doing things right.

Today has been exceedingly dull in the office as we have had a systems meltdown leaving us with no e-mail for the last two days. Realistically I know that this should not be a problem, however most all of my work is client related and directly linked to e-mail. Now I know that I could get on with doing filing or something equally brain numbing .. but the truth is I have not quite reached that level of desperation! Instead I have resorted to alcoholic entertainment and am currently sipping a Pimms whilst staring wistfully at the sunshine outside.

My office is placed in a beautiful square in the City of London, we have a lovely little park with remnants of the original Roman Wall that surrounded the London all those years ago. At our main entrance there is a huge hedge dividing our office from the park and partially concealing a little patch of green around the corner from the rest of the garden, all the smokers gather here.

One day a few months ago, whilst out for a cheeky puff, I noticed a sleeping form, lying on the grass, on the other side of the hedge. I thought he must be some vagrant having found a quiet spot to rest his weary head. I came to refer to him as The Sleeping Man, he being there almost daily.

Anyway, yesterday was so beautiful I wondered into this secluded area. After about 10 minutes a well dressed gentleman arrives with a rucksack. He proceeds to scout out the area, then pull all kinds of paraphernalia from his bag, including an inflatable mattress.

Well I looked at him and he looked at me.

Finally I smiled and said .. ‘Are you the sleeping man?’

To which he responded that he was and that he suffers from narcolepsy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcolepsy) . Basically he comes to the park, everyday, rain or shine (even snow), sets up his camp site and has a quick kip for an hour or so.

Now I am not sure if he was taking the mick, but truly he blew up his mattress, lay himself down and promptly drifted off into the land of nod!

How ironic though that ‘the sleeping man’ literally is THE sleeping man!!

WASHING ALERT!

After yesterdays debacle, I am wearing my glasses – can’t say they have made me any wittier but I can certainly see better!

I have now, mostly, settled back into the swing of things.. I have remembered how to type and log onto my computer without expiring the password, and most importantly that payday arrives on Friday.

When Americo & I arrived back on Sunday he diligently loaded up the washing machine and cleaned all our laundry, neatly heaping the dried mounds in anticipation of my folding expertise. I on the other hand took one look at the growing chaos and ignored it. Unfortunately acknowledgement will no longer be denied. Our house is fast becoming a classified zone, resembling Oxfam on drop off day. We have more clothes sitting on our sofas than we do in the cupboards. This is posing a slight problem as all clean ware is in the lounge and the once neat stacks of laundry, after being raided, are beginning to resemble an attempted burglary.

Oh well, on to other things. This morning I woke up to Americo’s alarming alarm going off at the usual 6am slot. Amazingly, he actually got up, well.. More like fell out of bed so big was his surprise. I must admit to a sleepy chuckle at my drowsy husband tumbling to the floor. For retribution Americo stood over my dreaming form, put his nose on my nose and stared. A more uncomfortable way to be woken I do not know. He would not relent until I opened my eyes which proved to be rather difficult as one eye remained resolutely shut. And so we were, Americo grinning like a monkey and me blearily blinking back – owl like.

Yesterday was the 2009 Budget Report, exciting stuff. Basically if you eat, work and pay taxes your chances of getting shafted have greatly improved. Here, here to Labour!

GOOD INTENTIONS

Having sat down to write my Wednesday edition of ‘Americo & Me’ I find my eyes resisting all persuasive measures. You see today I stupidly wore my contacts which are currently inflicting much pain upon my eyeballs, thereby diverting all attention away from my current task. Why? I hear you ask did I wear contacts if they are insistent upon butchering my eyes? Well.. it was such a beautiful day today and my sunglasses don’t get out the house much sooo, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anyway, as my concentration is currently directed to other things I am going to cope out and provide you with an amusing article I stumbled upon during my travels in cyber space.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blog/editors_corner/article/26357/

Enjoy! Tomorrow I shall be my usual witty, spectacled self!

LOOK WHO'S BACK

Yip that is right folks I am back! Never before have we been so grateful to return home after a holiday, my bed, I missed my bed!!! All in all we had a wonderful time away, a complete family overdose which to the uninitiated can be slightly overwhelming. Americo and I landed yesterday morning (at a revolting hour) and decided to catch the tube home, now when we agreed these terms I thought a taxi would be waiting at the other end. My expectations fell woefully short as we trudged the 15 minutes home, me in slops with frozen toes!

We left London in a rush with Americo being caught up in a traffic jam and then, when we were out the door and half way to the station, realising that he had left his mobile… HONESTLY! Our flight to SA was fairly uneventful, seeing us land in Jo’burg on the Thursday before Easter, grab our hire car and dash towards the beach. Our ‘dash’ to the beach was a 7 hour long drive with masses of junk food and rubbish radio. Luckily for Americo I kept him entertained by singing all my old childhood travelling songs – I am not sure he was completely appreciative though as he looked a little tooooo relieved when we reached the guest house..

In case you are thinking that our soirée in deepest, darkest, Africa was just another jolly holiday, you would be wrong. We were all gathered for the very special wedding of my cousin Sara to her VERY lucky Irishman, Colin.

We took Sara on a final ‘ladies night’ prior to the big day, an ET (Emergency Taxi) was hired for the night to collect the girls at Wedding HQ for an evening of debauchery. For those who do not know about ET’s, let me explain… Unfortunately there is no public transport system to speak of in South Africa (they are hoping to remedy this prior to 2010) therefore leading to a fairly major opening in the market, hence the ET was born. Now ET taxi drivers have a very bad reputation, as any South African Driver knows you just do not tangle with an ET. SA ET’s are basically 10 seater people carriers that generally have some boisterous slogan printed on the back window and suicidal maniac at the wheel. Anyhow, I digress..

Our ET pulled up to collect its precious cargo of sisters, cousins, friends and of course, the bride to be. The men folk escorted us to our waiting chariot with ‘TEASERS’ written across its arse. Marcus (our cousin) spoke to the driver expressing his wish that all said relatives be returned safely and in one piece. We clambered in and settled ourselves with beers and champagne, as we pulled off Innocence (the Driver) pumped up the music, hit the strobe lights and we bounced our way out of the yard.

I only make a small mention of the seductive dance the barman gave Sara and the two ladies who were hurling the van by the end of the night. Suffice to say a great time was had by all with many a hang over the next morning.

Now on to the main event – The Wedding, it was beautiful. Sara looked stunning, Colin dashing and the venue was amazing. Set in a gated development in one of the few forested areas on the northern beaches coastline. Weddings are really such happy occasions, the celebration of love, uniting families and gathering the clans. So a special mention to Sara and Colin, may your marriage be filled with happiness, kindness and much laughter.

Americo seems to have gathered quite a fan club with the petite ladies on our holiday. Obviously I think my husband is the most handsome and best of men and it seems others do to! One young lady in particular saw A & I swimming in the sea and turned to her aunt saying ‘Oh, there is Americo, you know the man wearing the blue shirt at the wedding .. isn’t he dreamy!’ The aunt explained to me that she was shocked that her 13 year old niece was taking such a keen interest in the male species. However I do understand her sentiments!

Along with all his other attributes Americo has the patience of a Saint, well he would need too really as he is married to me. Tanya and I decided after a particularly tiring day at the beach to sit down and play a game of scrabble. Amber, my niece expressed a wish to join us which was not reciprocated by the sisters. In a moment of inspiration I said ‘Sweetheart, where is your uncle Americo?’ Off she tootled, coming back a minute later saying
‘He is in the bedroom but has closed the door and put the side table across it!’. Very poor show uncle Americo…

‘Well,’ says Tanya ‘Why don’t you read to uncle Americo from the other side of the door?’

Off she went and so Tanya and I spent a pleasant hour playing scrabble. After a time we noticed that all was a little too quiet and decided to seek out both Americo and Amber. This is how we found them, a dozy Americo lying in bed, half asleep, being read a riveting version of The Princess and the Pea by a very proud Amber. Such a gentle moment!

Unfortunately I think it is time I closed this post as I seem to have written a novel.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN...

That is right folks Americo and I are into the final countdown before we hit the airport and fly out of here. What a last few days… Our weekend was hectic with me suffering from bad moods and the flu.. which really assisted said bad mood. Americo thought I was a delight and is eagerly looking forward to the next time I am ill…….

The DS side of the family came to us for lunch on Sunday which was wonderful, for us – I am not so sure about them. No sooner had we finished eating than Americo roped his brother, Mario, into ‘assisting’ with the fixing of all odd jobs around the house. Refitting skirting boards, waterproofing the showers etc, etc. At the end of it he (Americo) looked at Mario with a beatific smile on his face and said, ‘next time you should come for the weekend’. Chances are slim - especially when Americo suggested sending out a ‘to do’ list in advance! He is nothing if not an optimist.

I am not sure if I have said this before but I love shoes. Beautiful shoes are my downfall, however I have been very good and abstained from all shoe shopping compulsions. That is until I saw the most striking pair of red heels begging to be adored. And so, I rushed home to my best of husbands and BEGGED! Explaining how forlorn they looked in the shop window and, as I am the most deserving of wives, they should come home to me. After much deliberation and discussion it was agreed that they were to be mine - I cannot lie, Americo discussed, I utilised coercion and blackmail! Well what is a girl to do?

Anyway on Monday, after dashing home to meet the dishwasher repairman.. who arrived an hour before schedule, leading to huge irritation as I missed him. I thought it was the perfect time to go and collect my heart’s desire. Oh they are lovely and would you believe the last pair in my size – it was meant to be.

I was so enamoured that I wore them into work on Tuesday. Sadly the pretty red shoes did not feel the same way about my feet as I felt about them. After my charitable deed of bringing them home they made a vicious and completely unprovoked attack on my feet! I think in future they will be worn with care, to a bar where not much standing or walking is required!!

On that note I am off to SA, I will try to write if I get a chance between body surfing and sunning myself. If not, a wonderful Easter to all and I shall update you on our adventures upon my return.

YAY - Almost Holiday Time

Five days to go until we head off to Sunny Africa. In preparation of our trip to SA I have been making lists.. endless lists. I need to go shopping, do washing and amongst all this feed the wary trooper that is my husband. Now I hear you questioning why I need to be so uber efficient when we have all these days ahead to prepare. The truth is that we do not, time is running short and we have a full weekend with friends and family before our departure.

And so, to avoid our usual ‘5 minutes before we have to be at the airport’ rush, I have a plan. My plan is not as good as Americo’s though, as I do not have a wife who will diligently organise the packing side of things, but still .. it is a plan. The first part of my plan is to be slightly more prepared than our last trip, where we were still picking things up and dropping them off at one o’clock in the morning. Luckily our flights are at a civilised hour and we will only need to be at the airport by 6pm however we are both working a full day beforehand so that leaves timing a bit tight. The emergency bag will be ready at the door in case I can’t quite get my act together… this will consist of swim suites, goggles & snorkels, tickets and passport.

Now the working week is drawing to an end and I have to admit that it could not have come soon enough. As I sit here writing this blog, drinking a PIMMS, I look forward to next week Thursday when I shall be sitting on a beach, smoking a cigarette and wondering why life cannot always be so fabulous.

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD

Today was demonstration day. For the most part things have been fairly quiet with a few scuffles, some damage was done to the RBS bank near Threadneedle Street with windows broken and computer equipment thrown out the building. Of course no good protest can be held without defacing something of cultural value such as the beautiful statues outside the Bank of England. All and all a complete waste of time, money and effort for no gain! What they actually should have done is said to the Government ‘we are thinking of demonstrating, it is going to you a minimum of £10 million why don’t we put all that cash towards feeding a few of the deserving starving?’

As the masses have been roving about the streets, city workers have been encouraged not to stray too far from workplaces, in the case of some Bankers not to leave the building at all. The skies are teaming with helicopters and only now is silence descending on the City. I won’t go on as this subject has had much coverage throughout the land. One thing I will add though is a link to a ‘mock the news’ type website that had me in stitches.. enjoy

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/city-workers-urged-to-dress-like-scum-and-talk-about-%27corrie%27-200904011676/

Now onto other things. Today I have over indulged in all things revolting and feel that I may have too revoke my firm plan not to do any exercise this side of .. well .. ever. I have successfully munched my way through 3 Krispy Kreme doughnuts, a bacon & cheese croissant as well as a Pret croissant washing this all down with 2 cans of coke. To be honest if it had only been one of everything I would have felt fine with my consumption, as it is I have totally grossed myself out.

I have a funny relationship with food. Unlike Americo I won’t ever cook a meal just for myself - if I lived alone the kitchen would be as a desert.. Seldom visited! Bizarrely, due to Americo’s love of food, I have become quite proficient in the kitchen. This is more a testament of Americo’s cooking skills than my desire to please him.

Nope, my true love lies in all things junk food related, generally I am not excessive, the problem comes when I try to limit myself. The minute I feel as though I am denied I get overly obsessive and cannot rest until I have had what I crave. The old adage of nothing to excess definitely applies to me. So on that note I shall be refraining from getting the bus home and doing a 20 minute power walk instead!