LOOK WHO'S BACK

Yip that is right folks I am back! Never before have we been so grateful to return home after a holiday, my bed, I missed my bed!!! All in all we had a wonderful time away, a complete family overdose which to the uninitiated can be slightly overwhelming. Americo and I landed yesterday morning (at a revolting hour) and decided to catch the tube home, now when we agreed these terms I thought a taxi would be waiting at the other end. My expectations fell woefully short as we trudged the 15 minutes home, me in slops with frozen toes!

We left London in a rush with Americo being caught up in a traffic jam and then, when we were out the door and half way to the station, realising that he had left his mobile… HONESTLY! Our flight to SA was fairly uneventful, seeing us land in Jo’burg on the Thursday before Easter, grab our hire car and dash towards the beach. Our ‘dash’ to the beach was a 7 hour long drive with masses of junk food and rubbish radio. Luckily for Americo I kept him entertained by singing all my old childhood travelling songs – I am not sure he was completely appreciative though as he looked a little tooooo relieved when we reached the guest house..

In case you are thinking that our soirée in deepest, darkest, Africa was just another jolly holiday, you would be wrong. We were all gathered for the very special wedding of my cousin Sara to her VERY lucky Irishman, Colin.

We took Sara on a final ‘ladies night’ prior to the big day, an ET (Emergency Taxi) was hired for the night to collect the girls at Wedding HQ for an evening of debauchery. For those who do not know about ET’s, let me explain… Unfortunately there is no public transport system to speak of in South Africa (they are hoping to remedy this prior to 2010) therefore leading to a fairly major opening in the market, hence the ET was born. Now ET taxi drivers have a very bad reputation, as any South African Driver knows you just do not tangle with an ET. SA ET’s are basically 10 seater people carriers that generally have some boisterous slogan printed on the back window and suicidal maniac at the wheel. Anyhow, I digress..

Our ET pulled up to collect its precious cargo of sisters, cousins, friends and of course, the bride to be. The men folk escorted us to our waiting chariot with ‘TEASERS’ written across its arse. Marcus (our cousin) spoke to the driver expressing his wish that all said relatives be returned safely and in one piece. We clambered in and settled ourselves with beers and champagne, as we pulled off Innocence (the Driver) pumped up the music, hit the strobe lights and we bounced our way out of the yard.

I only make a small mention of the seductive dance the barman gave Sara and the two ladies who were hurling the van by the end of the night. Suffice to say a great time was had by all with many a hang over the next morning.

Now on to the main event – The Wedding, it was beautiful. Sara looked stunning, Colin dashing and the venue was amazing. Set in a gated development in one of the few forested areas on the northern beaches coastline. Weddings are really such happy occasions, the celebration of love, uniting families and gathering the clans. So a special mention to Sara and Colin, may your marriage be filled with happiness, kindness and much laughter.

Americo seems to have gathered quite a fan club with the petite ladies on our holiday. Obviously I think my husband is the most handsome and best of men and it seems others do to! One young lady in particular saw A & I swimming in the sea and turned to her aunt saying ‘Oh, there is Americo, you know the man wearing the blue shirt at the wedding .. isn’t he dreamy!’ The aunt explained to me that she was shocked that her 13 year old niece was taking such a keen interest in the male species. However I do understand her sentiments!

Along with all his other attributes Americo has the patience of a Saint, well he would need too really as he is married to me. Tanya and I decided after a particularly tiring day at the beach to sit down and play a game of scrabble. Amber, my niece expressed a wish to join us which was not reciprocated by the sisters. In a moment of inspiration I said ‘Sweetheart, where is your uncle Americo?’ Off she tootled, coming back a minute later saying
‘He is in the bedroom but has closed the door and put the side table across it!’. Very poor show uncle Americo…

‘Well,’ says Tanya ‘Why don’t you read to uncle Americo from the other side of the door?’

Off she went and so Tanya and I spent a pleasant hour playing scrabble. After a time we noticed that all was a little too quiet and decided to seek out both Americo and Amber. This is how we found them, a dozy Americo lying in bed, half asleep, being read a riveting version of The Princess and the Pea by a very proud Amber. Such a gentle moment!

Unfortunately I think it is time I closed this post as I seem to have written a novel.