ALL WORK & NO PLAY...

… Makes Americo a dull boy!

I am beginning to wonder if having a husband is all a figment of my imagination. I seem to recollect getting hitched and standing up in front of the priest. I definitely remember huge amounts of money leaving the account and a big, drunken celebration. But final confirmation has come in the form of documentation substantiating the fact, I am indeed married, and this elusive character goes by the name of …. Americo. The thing is, at the moment he is working such long hours I barely remember what he looks like, I can however report that his secretary is great and we are considering meeting for lunch!!

My Dearest is under so much pressure at the moment he has virtually moved into the office and I am beginning to feel a little like the concierge at a hotel, “Sir your dinner is on the table and fresh underwear in the top draw – no messages except PS. I LOVE YOU”. A good night’s sleep has become a thing of the past and the brief moments I have with my husband are the most precious minutes of my day.

Fear not though, we have held a family Board Meeting and I am lead to believe that the current situation should improve with (HOPEFULLY) immediate effect. All Board Members of HTDS LTD understanding their various roles and responsibilities!!! ;)

In other news I have come to realise that my current relationship with nicotine will be coming to an end. It is with a heavy heart that I admit to this sad loss of faith in a dear companion. Ours has been a long and, dare I say it, enjoyable liaison but, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. So I have set myself a goal to become one of the many quitters …. when we decide to have children! I am viewing this decision in the column of ‘long term goals’. I will, of course, keep you posted on my progress – so far there is nothing to report.

I am sorry, I know that smoking is bad and truly I do not mean to trivialise it however, can a non smoker really understand the total enjoyment you get from having a puff? The sense of being, just a little bit naughty! For me it has become a kind of ritual, a moment in time that is my own. Bad, bad, bad.

Still, the first step to recovery is, I suppose, accepting the inevitable? Any helpful advice welcomed…

FAMILY..

Firstly ladies and gentlemen, you will all be happy to know that my dearest father is feeling much better after his recent bout of malaria. I spoke to him earlier in the week and he was sounding quite chipper after having mom nurse him back to health.

My mother is a heroine at almost all things medical and has virtually become the district doctor – even though she is not one. She has handled a myriad of illnesses and accidents from malaria to chopped off fingers, third degree burns to rushing farm workers off to the hospital for births. Never mind her cool headedness when a child had her stomach blown open whilst crossing the live minefield separating Zimbabwe from Mozambique. Yes, my mom has the patience of a saint and a stomach of steel. I like to think that I take after her in many ways however when the gifts were being handed down clearly ‘Patience of a Saint’ was left off the list.

Truth be told I really do not deal very well with sick people. Americo swiftly realised this after catching a particularly severe case of ‘Man Flu’ only to find that his devoted and charming wife did not quite live up to expectations on the patience and sympathy front! The problem is twofold .. chiefly, Americo is a rubbish patient, being predominantly grizzly and grumpy as opposed to frail and ill. Secondly, I hate seeing him sick, ergo … he just shouldn’t be!

So in other news, I had a lovely lunch with my brother today who I have not seen for ages as he has shipped himself and family off to sunnier climes – lucky devil.

Last night was our final volleyball evening of the summer season, that is right folks .. summer is about to be officially over with the entire population of England going into hibernation. Thankfully we have our holiday in Australia to keep us going as the light slinks away and the temperature continues to drop. I have to put in here that Americo has been somewhat impressed with my recent spurt of commitment to a sport, I must admit that I have even surprised myself!

ET .. CALL HOME

On Saturday night I dreamt my dad had Alzheimer’s and he could only remember the part of his life prior to my birth. I frantically begged him not to forget me for how could I live knowing that my dad had no knowledge of me? I woke up distressed with tears rolling down my cheeks and a desperate desire to call home.

I have mentioned before the problems with communication to Zimbabwe .. mostly that there is no communication with Zimbabwe. All day Sunday I tried to call home and was amazed that I was getting the ringing tone, first time on each call – unfortunately no one was answering. (This always gets me a bit edgy as law & order is not a top priority).

This morning I got into the office and there was an e-mail from my mom. Dad has malaria and has been unwell all weekend but is doing much better today.

Sometimes you just know to call home.

Thinking of you dad - xxx

TEA.. Anyone?

Today I am having a slight rant, lets face it – it’s been a while! Our topic of the day is TEA… I realise this sounds like a fairly innocuous subject and ergo unable to cause much offence … there my friends you are wrong. The problem is - I do not DO tea. I do not drink it, I do not appreciate it and I detest having to make it. To say I am not a tea person is to trivialise my repugnance.

Unfortunately, on occasion, I have to lower my standards and put the kettle on. I must admit that there are times when I don’t mind (that much). For instance, if I am feeling particularly enchanted with my husband I may offer, or when we have guests for dinner. Then there are the other times… The office times…

I suppose I should back up a little and explain how this revulsion came about.

It all started one bright African morning when I was a little girl of about 5. Our family tradition was that the housekeeper would bring in the tea tray at 6 and the family would all pile into my parents bed for their ‘cuppa’ before we had to get ready for the day. I remember that for some reason I was alone with Mom and Dad - I think Tanya and Julian were at boarding school. Anyway, Mom poured the tea and, in my youthful excitement of the morning, I took a huge gulp. Oh the HORROR! Yuck, yuck, YUCK. The milk was sour and the tea was disgusting. The rest, as they say, is history - I have never drunk tea again and over time it has become at mild phobia.

Back to the office; my aversion to tea is so ubiquitous the mere mention of having this as part of my job description has seen me racing for the door. On occasion however I have been known to be charitable at work. When I meet clients, I manage to dredge up some empathy and produce a cup of tea. I do not however make tea for just anyone, either you are a paying Member of the Wealth Club or you are just another pleb who can get their own damn tea!

Last year due to a rift in the company partnership the business was downsized. It was decided that in order to ‘stream line’ the cash flow redundancies would be made, with one of the casualties being our receptionist. With our new ‘slim line’ staffing arrangements the idea is for everyone to all pull together in ensuring when a Member is due there is someone available for a meet and greet. Unfortunately some pull together more than others and, for the most part, mine is a fairly regular face in reception.

This morning I had barely sat down when the door bell rang, thankfully one of my colleagues jumped to attention and I made to prepare myself for the day ahead. About two seconds later one of the advisors (hmmmm) came and said to me;

“So.. what happens when there is someone in reception, do YOU just go and make tea?” (seriously??)

He should have known better especially since I do not make my dislike of mornings a secret. The first sign should have been it is 9 o’clock, followed swiftly by the realisation that there was no can of coke in sight. However he ignored all the signals and barged on…

With raised I brows I regarded him, eventually answering his request with as much civility as I could muster;

“Do I look like the tea lady?”

It was cold, it was brutal but is he likely to pose such a stupid question to me again?

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS...

I have been inspired! Whilst perusing my way through cyberspace, I popped into one of my regular blog sites – not the marrying kind. Marty, the writer, focuses her blog on wedding ideas that are homemade and creative, obviously my wedding planning has long since been and gone, HOWEVER I came across this wonderful idea. [Don’t be surprised when you all get potted gumboots (wellies) for Christmas!] When I read Marty’s blog I imagine her home to be a hive of creativity, filled to the brim with innovative and bright designs.

This got me thinking (always a bad thing) and I realised that our home is not very homely. We have the most amazing wedding pictures, but nothing on the walls, we have lovely photo frames but they still have the original ‘Kodac Family’ in them. Our home, in essence, is transient; it is ready to be packed up and shipped out with minimal effort and fuss – the realisation of which has come as quite a shock.

Don’t get me wrong, I love our home it is just not the focus of my life. There always seem to be something more important that needs attention – friends, family, finances .. LIFE! Subconsciously, I think I have been avoiding creating a homely home here in the UK. It feels as though by hanging that picture I am making a commitment to permanence. I am accepting that we will never return to Zimbabwe.

I know – it is completely illogical and unreasonable! Luckily Americo never expects me to be either logical or reasonable, in fact I believe that life would be rather disappointing if I was..

Anyhow, now that we are discussing family .. Calm down parents – it is only a DISCUSSION! I am beginning to undergo a change of heart. That picture frame does not represent eternalness, what goes up can still be taken down. In the end, my biggest realisation is this… My home is where Americo is. Everything else is just stuff, pretty but unimportant.
Still .. curtains would be nice!!

THE FUTURE

I love this picture, brilliant in so many ways.. Firstly, the future is inevitable and secondly – do you really want to know about it?

I love all things shrouded in mystery – tarot cards, palm readers, mystics and psychics. When Americo and I were in Miami I persuaded him to let me blow some of our hard earned cash on getting my palm read, don’t get me wrong this is not something I subscribe to merely a little bit of fun, anyway it was fascinating! She did not ask me anything about myself just started right in on what she foresaw in my future. Afterwards I began to wander, having heard what she had to say, does this then affect the decisions that I will make? It is as though physiologically I have now been pre-advised of my decision and, so as not to tempt fate, I have to choose what I have been advised to choose! Does that make sense? Because you have been told X is the way forward you are now fearsome to choose Y.

This weekend I am planning a little get together in the park, it is almost an annual event in aid of my birthday, only this year it is slightly late. Oh Well! Usually I excel at organising and arranging these events but recently I seem to have lost momentum. I am not sure if it is a sign of getting older or just a sign of getting complacent. Whatever, I plan to rectify the situation with a series of busy activities.

I recently found out that Americo (poor, sheltered man that he is) has never seen, or indeed heard, of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. So, in the interests of cultural diversification, I feel it is my duty to take him off to the ‘Sing-A-Long’ version - where best dressed wins a prize. I am in two minds on whether to warn him of the wonders that await, or, just throw him into a pair of gold hotpants, a la Rocky Horror, and head out for the night. For those of you who are Rocky virgins (surely there cannot be many?) I highly recommend this as an evening’s entertainment! Although be advised it is not for the feint hearted or the morally motivated.

Speaking of motivation, The Girls – Pearl, Tanya and myself went to our first night of all Women’s Volley Ball on Tuesday, funded by our very generous Government.. Oh Me, Oh MY… the PAIN! Personally I just do not believe in the mantra “No Pain, No gain”, seriously - who comes up with this nonsense? Generally I avoid all forms of excercise holding firm to my belief that when I feel energetic - I lie on the sofa and wait for the feeling to pass!

I can honestly say I was cursing my stupidity at being SO vigorous as I crawled up the stairs and heaved myself into bed. Luckily I survived to tell the tale! And am still so thoroughly enamoured with volley ball that I will be back there next week.

Until then!

HOME.. please?

Today I have limited enthusiasm in work, compounded with a side of no interest drenched in apathy! I know every one hates Monday’s, the thing is, generally, I don’t, however this Monday feels like it should have been consigned to the trash can early on. So, in the interests of my sanity, I have written the day off to predominantly attempting to look busy and surfing the net. Even with these kinds of low ambitions I may not reach my goal, however I shall endeavour!

What, I hear you asking has brought on this bout idleness? Well, to put it simply, I am exhausted! It all started like this….

Friday, our day of regrouping before the weekend, we were invited out for a ‘quiet drink’. I should have known better, there is no such thing as a quiet anything with our friends - I can only put this down to being foolishly optimistic. Even more foolishly however I offered to be the designated driver (much better to have been the drinker than the driver!) The pub was filled with discrete couples and groups chatting quietly and having the epitome of a ‘quiet drink’. Enter the Zimbabwean contingent…

I must admit, when we arrived, the boys were looking very civil, this soon descended into raucous laughter and debauchery. Ending with the drinkers polishing off all the Yagermister (sp) the bar owned and suspect versions of love songs sung to beautiful woman. All and all an evening of embarrassing revelations, free entertainment for the other patrons (dodgy dancing to footloose) and many, MANY, mocking stories for years to come! (woot woot – sorry Bobby, had to do it!)

Saturday dawned bright and sparky for some (i.e. ME) and a dark and cloudy for others. I must admit to a certain smugness at my lack of hangover, it was unfortunately short lived as we had to do repairs to the shower at the rental. We had just finished when the phone rang asking what our afternoons intentions were .. here we go again.. So of we headed for a braai (BBQ) at Trev’s house with Tanya (my sister) joining us there. It was a great afternoon/evening we played games, gossiped laughed and ate until we could eat no more. However it was another late night!

We made it to bed after 1, and up and rushing at 8 to go walking with J&J. By now we were both talked out, it was a very silent trip to our meeting point interspersed with curses when we could not find our final destination! Luckily Americo and I are such happy people and, once we had navigated ourselves to civilisation, the world was back to rights. We had a lovely walk, although my suggestion of shorts turned out to be rather rubbish as we were stung, mercilessly, by stinging nettles! Bloody country life!!

After reading this you are probably feeling as exhausted as we were however…. It was not over! Nope, we still had things to do and people to see.. So we leaped back in our little car and headed over to Ham to meet up with S & I and their families. We eventually touched down at the home base last night after nine to sort ourselves out for the week ahead.

So you see, having burnt the candle at both ends I am feeling a little jaded and uninterested in what today has to offer – unless it is offering a good nights sleep!

TELL ME....

… What are the advantages of being a woman? On Saturday I was feeling slightly envious of the male creatures on this earth. It seems to me that the ladies received a very short straw when the ‘divine being’ was handing out favours. In my personal interpretation HE stood, like Santa - a sack full of goodies before him, with all the men and women at his feet. “LO, I have here celestial gifts to bestow upon my chosen ones…”

And so the men all rushed forward and grabbed what they could. The women, having the hindrance of heels, were just not quite fast enough so they got stuck with, PMS, Osteoporosis, hormone imbalance etc - I think you get my general meaning......

I promised to give a full update of our tour around Florida and, so far, have been very slack. The problem is when you go on holiday, then return to work, some evil pixie has looked at your work load and gone “for fun, lets double that”. On top of this your mind is still firmly ensconced in a foreign land so it takes you triple the amount of time to figure out .. What the hell do I do?? Anyway.

As you know our pre holiday rush was somewhat hectic, with me losing my wallet and cancelling all my cards, our Tom Tom breaking down and the new one not having enough memory to download the required maps. All in all it would be fair to say, we were quite stressed the night before departure. It was at this point that I decided to go on packing strike - I was feeling disgruntled that this task always seems to fall on me. After heavy negotiations, terms were agreed and I trundled back upstairs to resume packing responsibilities. (Mostly Americo sulked better than I did!!!)

At last Friday dawned and we were on our way, arriving in Tampa late in the evening. For the purposes of a true road trip we hired a convertible, it sounds like a good idea at the time but after hours of being wind blown I admitted defeat.

From Tampa we went to friends of ours in Orlando for a few days. It was great, we hadn’t seen Tina for years (I won’t mention how many!) but it was as though we had never been separated.

Onwards to Miami, the place of beautiful people and LARGE cocktails. We were referred to Mango’s which had fabulous live entertainment that left both Americo and I silently watching the stage! I feel I should put in here that if you are travelling in the States be sure to ask about the ‘walk in rate’, Americo and I got some wonderful hotel deals on this tip.

The most relaxing part of our holiday though were the few days we spent in Key Largo. We stayed at the Coconut Palm Inn, another referral, and it was two days of absolute bliss.

Then there was the shopping… Americo was in seventh heaven and traipsed me around the malls for HOURS. To be honest I was a little disappointed in the ladies fashions and unhappily report that my shopping excursions were not nearly as successful!