ALL CHANGE

Four days to go until I am officially unemployed. Phew! How nerve-wracking. I didn’t think I would be feeling quite as sentimental about leaving, when I resigned two months ago, as I do now. The X has been where all my proper, grown up experiences have occurred. This was my first ever permanent job. Whilst I have been working here Americo and I bought our first home, we got engaged and married. All this kindly funded (on my side) by my salary at The X. This job has been the first where I have had a constant, monthly income – I didn’t realise how much I took it for granted. There is nothing quite so satisfying as knowing that next month your bank account will, miraculously, be replenished!

Anyway, I have already jumped so, here’s to a thrilling ride, not to many bumps and a great adventure! Now I am shamelessly going to say that should any of you find yourselves in need of a virtual assistant, for a small fee, I am available at www.theprivatesecretary.co.uk.

In other news, life is very quiet these days with Americo eager beavering about with his MBA. In his words – one month down…….. 23 to go. Comforting thought is it not? However, we did manage to take yesterday off and enjoy the sunshine. On a whim we decided to go to Richmond park, leaving our car at Trevor’s house (in East Sheen.. though he will swear it is Richmond), from there to walk and find a spot in the park.

As we were leaving our car at Trev’s it was only polite to knock on the door and say a friendly hello. To be honest neither of us thought he would be up, after it was only 12pm. [Trevor takes sleeping to Olympic levels.] On this day however, we were in luck, they were up and active we had a quick catch up, outlining our plans for the day. As theirs were along similar lines they came to join us in the park.

What a blissful afternoon.

We lazed about eating, talking nonsense, playing cards – honestly, does life get more perfect? Good friends, great weather and food!

After a slumberous afternoon we played a little Frisbee. Sadly our chosen patch of park was not particularly geared up to running and catching; what with holes, rocks and deer turd (sh*te) littering the space making it all quite hazardous – and that is not even mentioning my lack of hand eye co-ordination, or my windmill running technique.

Americo on the other hand bounced about like an over grown Labrador, catching every Frisbee thrown his way, I eventually sat out just to watch him in action!

GOODBYES

We are once again alone in the house as my friend has moved back to her home. I was sure that she would be marked by her experiences of living with us and had a little chuckle when she wrote the other day to confirm my suspicions. To give a bit of back ground..

Americo and I have lived in our home for just over a year and, in that time, we have basically … moved in. I have only recently put photo’s in picture frames, being somewhat decorationally challenged, amongst other things!

For the first year we had not one curtain - until my mother came to the rescue providing cover for all our downstairs window requirements. The rooms on the second floor however are still open to the neighbours, should they have an interest to peek. It is in one of these rooms that my friend has been living for the last few months.

In case you haven’t already guessed a curtainless room does not a sanctuary provide! There is no chance of wandering about naked, well .. not unless you are VERY still, in the crouch position, behind the bed, in one corner. Basically, much more effort than reward! So she devised a routine whereby she would take all her clothes to the bathroom, shower and then get changed in the corridor (spare bathroom is V.small) – safe from any neighbourly curiosity.

Anyhow, she has now moved back to her home and e-mailed me the other day saying..

“Had my shower this morning, grabbed my clothes and headed into the hallway to get dressed……. Then realised……. I HAVE CURTAINS!”

Hehehe

I am waiting to hear what other lasting effects living with us will have had!

BUSY MONDAY

Due to an impressive amount of slacking off last week I now find myself in a bit of a quagmire with regards to work. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t slack off too much however Monday has arrived with vengeful thoughts of keeping me out of mischief! Tonight I am a work widow as Americo is off shmoozing with his newly acquired team, nevertheless, I believe in looking on the bright side of life … today’s bright side is? I get to eat my KFC fix without any of the guilty feelings associated when Americo is here! I know, it is a small thing but strangely satisfying. Americo meanwhile gets to socialise with all the big bosses, being suitably impressive and spend the night at a hotel well in the Boonies. (Boonies – somewhere MILES away from civilisation, think milk your own cow for coffee).

Yesterday we went to Volley Ball coaching in Richmond, considering we play fairly regularly you would have thought I had gained some finesse. Sadly I am astoundingly pathetic at sports so much so that I have almost honed my lack of skill into an art form. You may snigger but yesterday, after spectacularly missing the ball and landing with a loud thud on my bottom, I received an encouraging round of applause. Americo meanwhile rushes about the court like a fox terrier trying to get every ball that comes his side to the net, wiping out all other players in his wake.

So in the interests of public amusement I am going to go and PLAY volley ball tomorrow, after work, and no doubt return home with my ego broken and every muscle aching.

bad, Bad, BAD

The sooner this week is behind me the better things will be for everyone! Usually I manage to keep my frustration levels to a minimum but let’s face it the week started badly and so it progressed. “The Windy” one continued to wind me up with increasing liabilities of a confrontation. The storm hit on Thursday morning.

I am not a morning person, I know this, you know this - everyone knows this. But the truth of the matter is that my no talking before 10 am policy (preferably 12 pm) was strictly enforced when the windy one joined the company. I can only just handle annoyances on a good day, but major irritations every morning of the week are just too much for me! Now you can imagine my dismay when we had an office reshuffle a few months back and who should be placed in front of me? You guessed it!

I realise that my black mood was brought on by a relatively minor thing but I claim woman’s prerogative! I got into the office and the window was open with cold air gusting down my collar, I asked, very politely if we could please close it as I was freezing. Sadly ‘he’ is the keeper as it is only on his side that you can open/close it, anyway the response was a very resounding “NO! – I am hot, go put on a jacket”. Now the other girl on our set of desks had also asked, however she took it one step further and closed the window when he was away. There started a day of continued pettiness with one opening and the other closing. Eventually I requested again that surely he could not still be ‘boiling’ and could we please close the window. Again, NO.

By this stage my PMS was clocking in big time and begging for blood. I very gallantly restrained myself from crossing completely to the dark side which I can assure you would have been vulgar, violent and altogether very satisfactory! The problem with me is that once I am on this trip it takes very little for me to go from Zero to Hero (as it were). So I did the only thing a girl can do.

I requested he be moved from my sphere due to major personality differences namely that I am made of goodness and light and he is generally a pain the ****! (I like to believe this about myself .. but really even I know that is somewhat of a stretch!) Regardless, my manager, having witnessed him picking his nose the day before, was quite sympathetic to my cause. And so it is that peace shall once again descend on my world albeit in a few weeks time. However as there is some light at the end of the proverbial tunnel I can hang in there! Aren’t I brave?

Anyhow it is Friday and I will be leaving this week behind me with glee.

IT'S PINK!

The other night Americo did a load of washing. As a red pair of fisherman trousers we got in Thailand would be included I reiterated that no whites, whatsoever, should be involved… You can see the impending doom.. I transferred everything from washer to tumble dryer and guess what I found? Americo’s once very manly football socks were now a lovely shade of salmon, along with his ankle guard and some other choice items. I have to admit to a little chuckle of amusement seeing my husband rushing about trying to get his gear together with pink ankle guard on one foot and a jaundiced expression directed at the socks.

I have not always been the ‘demi-domestic goddess’ you see before you. In fact when I came to the UK my kitchen skills consisted of nuking a potato in the microwave and not much more. I remember one boyfriend’s mother saying ‘She is lovely darling.. but I don’t think she can cook!’

My second home in London was a houseshare on Fladgate Road. I was living with a group of friends from Zimbabwe along with my brother and his wife. Being so far from home we were more a family unit than a typical shared house. Everyone had a duties partner and each ‘couple’ had their chance of cooking a proper meal once a week. However, as I could not cook my partner would only allow me to watch and clean. The one day, seeing me wielding a knife, he removed the danger from my hands and asked me to please sit out of harms way.

To return the kindness I offered to iron his shirt whilst he cooked dinner. All I can say is it seemed like a good idea at the time. It started off so well, that is until about half way through when the iron got a little sticky and I lifted it to find a newly inserted hole. After this episode not only was I banned from the kitchen but my washing duties were limited to putting the washing machine on where upon magical little Fairies would descend, transfer them to the tumble dryer and onwards to my bedroom all neatly folded! Oh how I miss those days!!

This weekend is a busy one for us, we have my cousin’s 40th birthday party which is themed fancy dress. Americo has been inspired, suggesting he will be going as .. himself! Hmmmm. I on the other hand intend to make just a little bit more of an effort within what we have at home. Do you think I could put my wedding dress back on and go as Julia Roberts in The Run Away Bride? No? I didn’t really think so either. Undoubtedly something will spring to mind between now and tomorrow.

Sunday we are walking with friends round Henley on Thames with a little picnic at some halfway point – lets hope the weather stays as beautiful as it is today. Finally, as Monday is a bank holiday, we are off to the park for volley ball. After much beating of chests last weekend we have a tournament of some description going ahead. My money is on Americo and Bob, mostly because the are brutal and hate to loose!

Tuesday is my op so I will probably be out of commission and off the blog until the following Monday.. Until then!

LOOK WHO'S BACK

Yip that is right folks I am back! Never before have we been so grateful to return home after a holiday, my bed, I missed my bed!!! All in all we had a wonderful time away, a complete family overdose which to the uninitiated can be slightly overwhelming. Americo and I landed yesterday morning (at a revolting hour) and decided to catch the tube home, now when we agreed these terms I thought a taxi would be waiting at the other end. My expectations fell woefully short as we trudged the 15 minutes home, me in slops with frozen toes!

We left London in a rush with Americo being caught up in a traffic jam and then, when we were out the door and half way to the station, realising that he had left his mobile… HONESTLY! Our flight to SA was fairly uneventful, seeing us land in Jo’burg on the Thursday before Easter, grab our hire car and dash towards the beach. Our ‘dash’ to the beach was a 7 hour long drive with masses of junk food and rubbish radio. Luckily for Americo I kept him entertained by singing all my old childhood travelling songs – I am not sure he was completely appreciative though as he looked a little tooooo relieved when we reached the guest house..

In case you are thinking that our soirée in deepest, darkest, Africa was just another jolly holiday, you would be wrong. We were all gathered for the very special wedding of my cousin Sara to her VERY lucky Irishman, Colin.

We took Sara on a final ‘ladies night’ prior to the big day, an ET (Emergency Taxi) was hired for the night to collect the girls at Wedding HQ for an evening of debauchery. For those who do not know about ET’s, let me explain… Unfortunately there is no public transport system to speak of in South Africa (they are hoping to remedy this prior to 2010) therefore leading to a fairly major opening in the market, hence the ET was born. Now ET taxi drivers have a very bad reputation, as any South African Driver knows you just do not tangle with an ET. SA ET’s are basically 10 seater people carriers that generally have some boisterous slogan printed on the back window and suicidal maniac at the wheel. Anyhow, I digress..

Our ET pulled up to collect its precious cargo of sisters, cousins, friends and of course, the bride to be. The men folk escorted us to our waiting chariot with ‘TEASERS’ written across its arse. Marcus (our cousin) spoke to the driver expressing his wish that all said relatives be returned safely and in one piece. We clambered in and settled ourselves with beers and champagne, as we pulled off Innocence (the Driver) pumped up the music, hit the strobe lights and we bounced our way out of the yard.

I only make a small mention of the seductive dance the barman gave Sara and the two ladies who were hurling the van by the end of the night. Suffice to say a great time was had by all with many a hang over the next morning.

Now on to the main event – The Wedding, it was beautiful. Sara looked stunning, Colin dashing and the venue was amazing. Set in a gated development in one of the few forested areas on the northern beaches coastline. Weddings are really such happy occasions, the celebration of love, uniting families and gathering the clans. So a special mention to Sara and Colin, may your marriage be filled with happiness, kindness and much laughter.

Americo seems to have gathered quite a fan club with the petite ladies on our holiday. Obviously I think my husband is the most handsome and best of men and it seems others do to! One young lady in particular saw A & I swimming in the sea and turned to her aunt saying ‘Oh, there is Americo, you know the man wearing the blue shirt at the wedding .. isn’t he dreamy!’ The aunt explained to me that she was shocked that her 13 year old niece was taking such a keen interest in the male species. However I do understand her sentiments!

Along with all his other attributes Americo has the patience of a Saint, well he would need too really as he is married to me. Tanya and I decided after a particularly tiring day at the beach to sit down and play a game of scrabble. Amber, my niece expressed a wish to join us which was not reciprocated by the sisters. In a moment of inspiration I said ‘Sweetheart, where is your uncle Americo?’ Off she tootled, coming back a minute later saying
‘He is in the bedroom but has closed the door and put the side table across it!’. Very poor show uncle Americo…

‘Well,’ says Tanya ‘Why don’t you read to uncle Americo from the other side of the door?’

Off she went and so Tanya and I spent a pleasant hour playing scrabble. After a time we noticed that all was a little too quiet and decided to seek out both Americo and Amber. This is how we found them, a dozy Americo lying in bed, half asleep, being read a riveting version of The Princess and the Pea by a very proud Amber. Such a gentle moment!

Unfortunately I think it is time I closed this post as I seem to have written a novel.

THIS AND THAT

We have, at last come to the dregs of our deep freezer, having consumed many, many K.G’s of meat over the past 8 months. At the moment our frozen treasure trove holds exactly.. one packet of ice and a roast pork! I think this is the first time our ‘cupboard’ has been so bare but we are trying not to do a major shop until our return from South Africa. How we are going to achieve this I am not quite sure. As it is I have had to be very creative with my cooking – much to Americo’s satisfaction! On Monday night I made improvised cottage pie with bacon, mushrooms, peppers, beans and mince. Americo loved it so much he almost single handedly at the entire thing.

This week I have not been feeling very well and therefore a little bit grumpy. I hate being sick, it frustrates me that my brain works through a foggy haze making the simplest task feel like a huge chore. I am sure everyone feels the same but that doesn’t make what I am feeling any bloody better!!!!

As I have mentioned we are off to South Africa in two weeks for my cousin’s wedding and a wonderful 10 days in the sun. I am sure all the ladies will understand when I say “I simply have NOTHING to wear” and so, Americo, taking pity on his woe begotten wife, gave me a budget to spend on a dress. I am glad to say that I have now blown all my cash on a beautiful outfit with shoes (only going over my allowance by £25)!! This is a considerable achievement as both dress and shoes are beautiful and I will get great enjoyment from wearing them often.

Unfortunately that is all for today as my brain is going into neutral and the mist is slowly descending making all communication nigh on impossible.

LIGHT UP, LIGHT UP

In my excitement about spring I forgot to mention that this weekend just gone Americo and I went, with friends, to the Snow Patrol concert at the O2. Walking about the O2 you would not believe that there is a supposed credit crunch slamming the quiet shores of Briton. It was heaving, with queues to get into bars and restaurants you had to fight your way out of the complex to get some fresh air.. or in my case a smoke!

The main act started at 9 so we made our way into the arena at about 8.30pm and managed to get a surprisingly good standing area. As we were fairly close to the front we were in the thick of things with the swaying masses of sweaty bodies. Neither Americo nor I are huge followers of Snow Patrol but we do enjoy their music and there is definitely no better way to appreciate a band than when there are 15 thousand people singing along! Saying that I must admit that my days of being a groupie are well and truly over.

With no smoking allowed in enclosed spaces you get the full sensory attack of bad body odour to name the least offensive. A true delight when you are new to the world of concerts but one to be avoided at all costs if you have a sense of smell! Although, the 17 year olds behind us shouting ‘We love you’ added a certain element of innocent enjoyment; not so the gromit up front who kept sniffing her armpits ….

Feet aching we limped our way home via tube and bus to crash into bed. Ever since I have had their song ‘Run’ stuck in my head never to be displaced. So, in the spirit of sharing here are the chorus words to said song, enjoy!

Light up, Light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

SPRING

At last Spring has Sprung! Sunday was our first day, this year, to sit outside in the sunshine and have breakfast. As Americo sat there eating a hearty meal he was blissfully unaware of my mind taking in the garden. Or what will shortly be a garden…

I have grand designs for our little patch of earth and am eager to put my husband to work. Unfortunately, with things related to dirt, I have a slight phobia … I hate my hands getting dirty.

This poses a slight problem, as how can you garden without getting in amongst the muck? Gloves! I hear you say .. but you would be incorrect, I have learned from experience that once my gloves get dirty I still need to start in and wash my hands and so the cycle goes on.

Luckily all is not lost, as I chose the most understanding of men who fully appreciates my dilemma, and does not mind one bit that I shall be directing operations from a safe distance…. Preferably with a PIMMS in hand! Perhaps a little bit of wishful thinking on my part!

CARS...

I was in such a hurry to leave Zimbabwe and do my two or so years of travelling that I didn’t bother to get my drivers licence. This never caused me much of a problem as London is incredibly commuter friendly. Once I had been here awhile I decided that I ought to get my licence, being the responsible adult I had become. So I started taking lessons, the only problem was my instructor turned me into a nervous wreck and after my second lesson I vowed never to set foot on the drivers side of a car again.

I had quite successfully nominated Americo as HEAD DRIVER, this being a win-win situation where Americo got show off his manly driving skills and I could sit there being suitably impressed. However, things were blown off course, when, after much coercion from both Americo and my mom I was lured back into the driver’s seat and got my licence. Americo’s favourite thing was to ‘encourage’ me to drive to the shops.. on my own .. and do the shopping. A very cunning plan of his under the guise of helping me get driving experience, when in reality he just did not want be involved in groceries! I do actually enjoy driving but thought I might share some of my funny experiences in this area..

The first time I went out to the store on my own I had to park the car, no problem… weeell maybe a small one, not enough room for me to get out the door. Easily remedied – jump out the other side and hope the next person who parks is at a distance from me! One slight hitch in my plan, there was a bloke waiting in the car beside me, obviously I could not clamber over the passengers seat, so after much scrabbling about in my bag I come up with some lipstick and pretend to apply. Eventually he left and I dashed out and did the shopping.

Sometime after this Americo, who was completing his ACCA and doing courses on Saturday’s, woke me up at some ungodly hour to take him to his class. I won’t mention my morning thing again but please bear this in mind when you continue to read.

I was persuaded to drop him off and given instructions to fill up the car, how hard can it be? After leaving him to get educated I went off to the nearest service station to ‘fill up’ the car. Hmmmmm… I had not stalled the car AND I’d managed to park within reasonable distance to the pump.. i.e. the hosey thing could reach. Out I got and managed, quite successfully, to get the cap off the tank and start filling the car (as you do!). Once I was done I went in to pay the delightful little fellow behind the counter. He looks at me, looks at my car and says “that will be 28 PENCE please….?”. Had I been more awake I would have handed over my card and said ‘Thank you’.

As it was I tried to explain that I had never filled a car with petrol, in all good third world countries we have petrol attendants! To be fair, if he had handed me a Jerry can and hosepipe I would have managed quite perfectly, thank you very much.

That evening when Americo returned I told him of my distressing car filling (or not) experience. Being the lovely, supporting boyfriend he was at the time, he keeled over and packed out laughing. Men are so smug!

I, however explained the epiphany I had had – next time I have to fill up the car I shall wear a very low cut shirt and incredibly high heals and request much assistance… I have never had to fill the car again.

VALENTINE BE MINE

I used to love Valentines Day when I was at school but with age comes cynicism - there is nothing romantic about being forced into romance. Saying that I am not at all averse to Americo rushing home with a big bunch of flowers, on any other day of the year!!

This year we were anti-valentines, our Saturday was spent doing paperwork. Not just any paperwork though, we sat down to do our Wills.

Initially I thought that this would be a fairly simple task to attend too. I was misled. There are so many possibilities you have to look into. What happens if I die, or he dies, or WE die, where does everything go if we have children OR don’t have children and so it went on, and on until well into the night.

This is obviously a really macabre topic but in some respects it is possibly the most romantic thing we are ever likely to do. Oh I am not suggesting it is romantic in a mainstream kind of way and trust me a new Will every year is not going to replace the red roses, but…

There is a huge commitment when you sit down and contemplate mortality, knowing that both parties care enough to take care of the other, even in death. Neither of us want to be in a situation where should the worse happen it is made even worse by the fact that there is no Will.

So, if you love somebody go out and do your Will today! ;0)

NEW YEAR

So 2008 is out and 2009 has well and truly settled in. I always find the beginning of a new year incredibly depressing. I think it has something to do with all those resolutions and everyone attempting to better themselves? For my part I am sticking with what I know, there will be no giving up of anything. Smoking shall continue as before along with all my other vices and general character failings! I shall not be committing myself to a gym membership, so lacking is my enthusiasm to run in one spot and go nowhere.

This brings to mind the one and only time Americo invited me to the gym with him. It was way back in the beginning, at that stage in a relationship when you are still offering to do ridiculous things… A suggested that we spend the day at his gym explaining, at my look of dismay, that it is not REALLY a gym, more like a leisure centre and we will get to spend the whole day together doing fun, but healthy things. As I am not a sporting person by nature I had to raid A’s cupboards for clothes, sadly I do not possess any sweat pants with ‘juicy’ written across the arse.

I was actually feeling quite excited, this would be my first time to set foot into one of these places. We started with warm ups then onto the rowing machine, next up was the treadmill. I detest running, I will not even run if I am late for the bus, so you must understand my feelings towards the treadmill… I looked over at my dashing boyfriend (now husband) running with dedication, feeling that fluttery something I lean over and ask;

“Sweetheart, don’t you think this would more fun if we held hands?” His look of horror, aghast that I should even suggest such a thing in this… THIS temple!

“Rozanne, this is not a walk in the park.. this is a serious work out!” He whispered back. Hmmm to him maybe, but not to me.

Needless to say that was the first and last time we went to the Leisure Centre together. Seriously.. Leisure Center???? More like house of pain.

Anyhow, I digress.. Last year was a big one for A & I, we attempted to do ALL the big life changing events in the space of a few months. In February we got engaged, May we found our dream home, July we finalised the purchase and moved into said home. Our finale was getting married in September.
I am hoping this year will be less frenzied but just as good in all kinds of other ways. So all the best for 2009 may it be another year to remember!